today was okie

mum and i ordered these white reebok's which im gonna put silver studs on

i am so into shoes lately hurrr

i am getting obsessed with demonia shoes omg

i wanttttttttttttttt theeemmmmm hurrrrrrrrrrrrggggg

i was kind of thinking about starting a new youtube channel.. maybe

and do vlogs and shit

although my life is so incredibly boring i just dont think i could entertain anyone

and it would get me absolutely nowhere.. who would watch that shit

ANYWAY

urrr i was also thinking of making little brooches and selling them on etsy for maybe like, 5-7 bucks or something ^_^

and like i would draw the character on it so its also one of a kind and special and stuffs

im going to spotlight tomorrow to look for some stuff for my creashunz

here is a photo where i am not pulling a stupid face for once

i cant smile i hate my smile this is as smile as i will get

urrrr i had a good weekend

i went to supanova and stayed with murr friends for a bit

i swear to chris hansen i saw brady corbet at supanova

i swear on EVERYTHING it was him..

but i was too shy FFUUUCK WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SHYY i couldnt ask him

wells i met one famous person while i was there, i met elizabeth braithwaite from australias next top model

she was my favorite model so i was like eeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

i would upload a photo of us together, but i look SO BAD 

so until i kotify that shit, you wont see it! ehehe

here are some cool people i took photos of

cool cat thingy its eyed glowed!

Ṫ̵ͭ͊ͤ͛ͪͬ̓ͪ̈́ͮ̃̾̎͐͆͋̚͟͏͇͙͎̼̻̯O̶̷̼̯̠̓̒̇͋͂͢T̊͗͑̈́ͧͪ̇̔̅ͣͨͣͣ̄̃͛ͬ͌̚͢҉̯̬̟͕̜̩̭̺͔̜̳̬͚̱Ö̴̧́ͥ̎̅ͪ͟͏̰͖̲̹̣̩̥̺̬R̸͓͙̬͑ͬ͌̌ͥ̈́̾͌̚͠O̢̬̖̺̼̥̪̣̺̦̤̽̂ͪ͜

pyramid head<3

i bought a few things..

i got an eyeball brooch, a few cute badges, a card, "fugu mints", other stuff

i tried on these cat gloves and omg

my holidays have ended... lurrrrrrrrrrrrrgg

oh well, i went to school today and only had one class but i swear i was asleep during half of it

that new 5gum apple flavor is the best thing i have to restrain myself from buying more

i need a life

look at pudding omg he is sniffing

urrrggg i thought i had 3 weeks holiday but i only have 2

EVERYONE TOLD ME 3

SO NOW I HAVE A SHITLOAD TO CATCH UP ON

ffuuuu japanese homework.. y u exist?

anyway i got my hair shaved at thee back i love urrrt

i think i may put some pink in it again..or purple or green

this weekend ill be at gold coast supanova incase anyone sees me there awkwardly..

i feel soo alone 

no ones bothered to say hello to me these holidays

im so awkward and disgustingggg

WISH I DIDNT HATE MYSELF

^___^

wish i could be meaner to people

fuuuck

im so sad i wish i could just hug youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

i keep having dreams you are in theeemmm

and it makes me miss you SO much guhh its worse than i thought

wanna hug you forever

i still cant really believe in 18 next year

i look nothing like 18 i still look like im 14

lul

URRR I DONT KNOW I SAY THE SAME SHIT EVERY POST

sometimes i forget how much it hurts

and it comes back and slaps me in thee face

and i cry

i havent cried for a while.. the medication is working too well

i literally cannot feel sad

it makes me feel like a robot

and i feel disgusted with myself 

it ends in disgust

every time it does

and i get unsure, and i forget

i get insecure

i feel like everything/one is against me

i forget people love me

because they dont
^ thats what hes saying to me inside
but i actually know.. that its not true
yet i cant get it away from me

reality comes to me
i realise that there is still so much more
still so much time to go
and immediately i think "i cant"
but thats not me speaking..

i block out people's happiness
because i literally cannot deal with it
i am so sick of people complaining to me about their trivial shit
if you are only going to talk to me to let out your internal struggles,
do not talk to me at all
i am sick of it
REALLY

i miss talking to my psychologist
that is one person i can let out everything to without being judged
oh yeah and mr fish
oh yeah i cant talk to mr fish hes only in my head

i want to get a job relating to my artwork
oh wait im not good enough for a job with art


anyway my baja hoodie came ilove it

and my 90s denim ish one..(webcam photo sorrur) its freezing today so i changed back into my pjs for the photos

i watched splice today it was a good movie..

the ending kind of got stupid though

i got too attached to dren, i wan her as my daughter i would be nicer than that stupid scientist

i am so sick of seeing a shitty webcam pic of someones lips or an arm on tumblr that gets like 1000 notes

really

really

finished a new painten

i called it "the grey planet"

it was the first thing that came into my head and it suits it

mr fish and andy visit a new planet..

princes of the galaxies

...

took a few days to complete

btw, if anyone is looking for a commissioned painting, im verrr open to it.

(just message me on my tumblr or whatnot)

anyway, past few days have been okay

my brother came over and we all just had a chill weekend

this weekend is this festival thing i may go to

i need a hurr cut desperately

eej

eyezzzZZzzZzzzzz..........

today was a pretty good day

we watched a movie at school called monsoon wedding

i worked on this art thing 

i got a chai latte in the morning

its the best thing ever

its like drinking an angels pure tears

i have a 3 week holiday now yey

no school

i will sleep all day and rule over my kingdom

as prince andy

prince of the moons, the galaxies

reigning the lands with mr fish

mr fish keeping me company...

i wishhhh.

i want to do more paintings

ugh i keep saying i want to but i never DO

I SHOULD JUST DO IT

let it out

let it alll outtt

yes

murr wig came

excuse it.. i look like such a GURL

but thats the point, im cROSSplaying a girl

for toriningen ehehehehehehe

i may need to cut it a bit. and its going in ponytails

for 12 bucks with free shipping its spectacular

meeb

idk what to talk about

life is okay lately

this is my last week of school, then i get 3 weeks holidays

yayyyyyyyyyy

recent stuff i buy:

dis red romper scout suit thing omg

pastel-ish baja hoodie

denim-looking 90s pullover thing

this bear omg

pencil case for school

dis print